Du Bist Nicht Allein
by drearydaytime
Summary: Winnifred didn't intend to grow so distanced from her brother, and it certainly doesn't help that he turns away when she needs him most. But will she find others who are there for her when she's in her lowest moments? (gradual canon/oc romance)
1. einleitung

**Hello everyone! I've had the idea for this story for a while, but I never really found the courage to start writing it out until now. I've never really shown any of my writing to anyone, so I'm not particularly sure if it's any good or not. If anyone has something to criticize go ahead! I want to get better at writing and sometimes you need other people's help to do that. And I should have the next chapter up within a few days, since this one is kinda short.  
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**Also, I'm sorry that this chapter is awkward; by the time I was almost done I realized I'd written the entire thing in a first person POV, and had to go back and change a lot. The summary is pretty awkward as well, so I'm probably going to change that soon. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy!**

**Disclaimer:**_ Shingeki no Kyojin belongs to Isayama Hajime. Any plotlines/characters that do not appear in the series belong to me._

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**First Chapter ;;** _einleitung_

_I'm going to die._

Winnifred never given much thought into how she would die, and even when she had, it'd never been like this. She'd trusted the walls too blindly, erased the titans from her everyday thoughts. Maybe she just thought it was easier that way.

How wrong she had been.

Oskar heard them before she did. Maybe it was because she was asleep, but when he shook me awake, fear in his eyes, screaming about the titans, the girl rolled over and told him to stop telling lies. He proceeded to drag her out of bed, much to her protest and into the kitchen, where their Pappy was packing food into a bag. Before him on the table were two others, each Winnifred assumed had been prepared for them.

And that's when she heard it.

The steady fall of footsteps larger than any human could create.

It was only then that through the window that he saw a man from a neighboring village that Nan and Pappy were good friends with riding through the village, yelling the one word that would rouse anyone in an instant.

People came streaming from houses, panicking, racing to the stables to grab their horses and leave. The three of them were no exception-it took only a minute to get their two horses saddled up and moving. The gates of Trost weren't far from the village, and it took them barely any time to reach it, or so it seemed. Behind them were the cries of the people she'd grown up with, people she knew well, being picked up and devoured. Winnifred kept her gaze toward the quickly approaching Wall Rose. Only when they reached it did she realize that less that half the people from her village remained.

The next few days after that passed in a blur. There were many other refugees, and among the chaos it was hard for the trio to stay together. They ended up staying with an old friend of the twins' mother, a woman named Agnes who ran an inn with her husband Ludwig.

They had a daughter, Gertrud, who was two years younger than Oskar and Winnifred. While she was quiet with her parents, submissive and obedient, with them she opened up a bit. She became more lively and talkative. Oskar surmised that it was because of the lack of children their age around the area. It made sense, although she couldn't say related much to the other girl's situation. She'd always had her brother nearby, and likewise had never felt lonely, or the need for other friends.

Gertrud's father was awfully kind to them. He taught her how to bake bread, a skill Pappy had never been able to help them with. Oskar, however, failed miserably at this task, as did Gertrud, although she tried her best to make the bread she made seem better than it was. Winnifred ate it whenever she made some, even though it tasted pretty bad. But it was always worth the smile on her face when she told her it tasted good.

The innkeepers owed a favor to their mother and father, so they offered to let the three stay as long as they like. They knew it was difficult for them, housing people and asking for no payment, so Winnifred and her brother offered to help keep the inn in good order.

Gertrud and Winnifred became good friends, although she and Oskar had many disagreements. They tolerated each other though, most likely for her sake, which she was always glad for.

After four months of living in Agnes and Ludwig's inn, Gertrud revealed something she made Winnifred swear not to tell anyone else.

She sat on Gertrud's bed behind her, brushing out her long black hair, which always seemed to tangle more easily than her own.

"Wi-winnie?" she stuttered out quietly, face buried in her knees which were drawn up to her chest.

"Hmm?" Winnifred replied softly, working at a knot in the other girl's hair.

Gertrud took a deep breath, letting it out slowly, seemingly contemplating her next words.

"I want to join the Scouting Legion."

Winnifred's eyebrows shot up. It wasn't that there was anything wrong with the other girl's decision, but it was rather unexpected coming from her.

"Why?" she asked, crawling around to face the black haired girl.

Looking up, Gertrud stared into her friends eyes before sighing and letting herself fall back onto the bed. "I feel like I don't have anything going for me here," she whispered, staring up at the ceiling. "I don't want to inherit the inn, and I'd be a failure of a wife. It's not that I wouldn't be scared to face the titans but..." She trailed off, turning her gaze to the starry sky out the window and letting out a long sigh.

"But you feel like you have to do something, since no one else really will?" she guessed, leaning against the wall.

"Yeah."

Brushing her glasses higher up her nose, Winnifred reached out her hand and laid it on top of her friend's.

"I'll join with you."

"Why?"

Resting her other hand against my face, elbow propped against her knee, she contemplated for a moment before answering. "I guess I'm the same. Although maybe part of it is that I've always held my father in high regards..."

Gertrud sat up, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. "Your dad was in the Scouting Legion?"

"Yeah," she replied. "He was an amazing person. I've always wanted to be just like him, but..."

Gertrud gave her an expression full of pity. "How long ago?"

Winnifred shrugged. "About four years ago. Mother died not long after. She'd always been sick, and I guess the grief didn't help."

She nodded. "I'm really sorry, Winnie."

Winnifred shook her head, loose hair falling over her shoulders. "You have nothing to be sorry about."

Scooting closer, Gertrud pulled herself up and nudged Winnifred's shoulder. Giving her a soft smile, she looked into her eyes and said, "Let's join the Scouting Legion then. Together."

Returning the smile, Winnifred's fingers curled around her friend's hand.

"Yeah."


	2. recruit

**I said I wouldn't take long and yet this took over a week. Whoops! One think I wanna ask is, would you guys like it if I wrote in first or third person? I wanted to do 3p because it's easier to do different character's POVs that way (it just seems awkward to do it in first person). **

**Disclaimer:** _Shingeki no Kyojin belongs to Isayama Hajime. Any plotlines/characters that do not appear in the series belong to_ me.

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**Second Chapter ;;** _recruit_

Dark blue eyes exactly the same as her own glared down at Winnifred, and while she tried her best to return the look, she couldn't help it when her gaze dropped to the floor instead.

"You're not joining."

She scoffed, folding her arms across her chest in a meager attempt to make herself feel better. "Oskar, you don't control me."

The boy, standing at 5"11 and a whole eight inches taller than her leaned against the wall, turning his eyes towards Gertrud who sat at the table fiddling with her hands in her lap. "I suppose she convinced you to join?" he asked, jerking his chin towards her.

Winnifred rolled her eyes. "I convinced myself to join. It just so happens that she wants to as well. Either way it's not really your business."

His eyes turned back to her, rage burning in them. "Last time I checked, Winnie, it _is _my business. I am your _brother,_ not some stranger who you have no obligations towards." Her eyes flickered up towards Oskar's, and she flinched to see how intently he was staring at her. Her eyebrows furrowed, and Winnifred held her arms tighter against herself. "You're going to die, and just how the hell do you think _I _would feel? You're always thinking about yourself and your feelings, but you don't consider anyone around you."

However much Winnifred wanted to deny it, it was entirely true. While she did understand where her brother was coming from-after all, if he'd gone on some suicide mission only he understood, she'd feel just as devastated-but she'd made her decision, and she wasn't going to change it. "What do I have to do?"

Oskar's gaze softened slightly in confusion.

"What can I do that will make you let me go?"

Her brother ran a hand through his curly hair, gazing up at the ceiling. Winnifred locked eyes with Gertrud, who then dropped her eyes back down to her lap where her hands were.

It came as a surprise when Oskar peeled himself from the wall and wrapped his arms around her narrow shoulders. "I'll join with you," he said softly, pressing his cheek against the side of her head. "Just let me go with you."

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Brushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose, Winnifred looked down at the uniform she was wearing. She and Gertrud both wore button-ups beneath their tan jackets, and Winnifred had braided her hair into two messy plaits before walking outside with her friend.

They waited outside for Oskar as other trainees passed them, heading towards the spot they were meant to report to. Nearly everyone had finished dressing by the time he glided out, pulling his jacket on, every article of clothing looking impeccable.

"What took you so long?" Gertrud asked, hands folded behind her back.

Oskar scoffed. "Unlike you two, I actually took the time to make sure I looked tidy like a soldier should be, rather than just throwing clothes on and holding I looked any good." Winnifred looked away, rolling her eyes at her brothers vanity and pushing herself from the wall she was leaning against, heading towards where the other trainees were gathering. Gertrud hurried after her, Oskar trailing behind at a slower pace.

The trainees were lined up in rows, all stood at attention with their hands behind their backs. Gertrud was placed not three meters away from Winnifred, while Oskar was father away, behind them.

There was a silence where they all stood, tense and at attention, before the rather menacing voice of Keith Shadis called out, "_You_! Kid!"

A boy replied, "Yes sir!"

"Who the hell are you?"

"Armin Arlelt from Shiganshina!"

"Oh really? That's a stupid name."

They spoke back and forth, voices echoing throughout the clearing for a minute before he moved onto the next person. Winnifred tuned the man out, standing rigidly in her spot, hoping to any deity out there that she wouldn't have to go through that as well.

She tensed up when she realized he was going down her row, picking out people seemingly at random. She tried to keep herself looking as inconspicuous as possible, which she found to be more difficult now that there was pressure.

She didn't look over, but she could tell he'd stopped in front of Gertrud.

"You there! Who-"

Nerves must have gotten to her, because the black haired girl saluted with a painful-sounding thump and shrieked out, "Gertrud Malinowski from Trost!"

There was approximately four seconds of complete silence before the Instructor's voice boomed, "Malinowski! Didn't your parents ever tell you not to interrupt your superiors?"

There was an audible gasp and a slight whimper from her friend and she then stuttered out, "N-no sir!"

A moment of silence followed, until the bald man leaned in close to her and boomed, "What are you doing here, Malinowski?"

"To aid humanity in defeating the titans!"

"Great! You'll be devoured in no time!"

Winnifred's heart thumped painfully quick in her chest. She wanted to comfort her friend, even with something as small as turning and giving a reassuring smile but she didn't want to be called out. So she stood stiffly, hands clasped behind her back, keeping herself from looking nervous as well as she possibly could.

He walked to the trainees across from Winnifred, and stood in front of a boy across from her. "Who the hell are you?"

"Jean Kirschtein, sir! From the district of Trost!"

"What are you doing here?"

The boy paused, before speaking in a slightly less loud tone. "To enter the Military Police... and live in the Inner District, sir."

Winnifred's eyes widened. She didn't expect that, and she certainly didn't think anyone else did, either. Why someone would want such an intimidating man on their case about wanting a sheltered life, she didn't know, but perhaps he had his reasons.

"Really? So that's where you wanna go, huh?"

The boy's face brightened up for a moment as he hurriedly shouted back "Yes!". It was short-lived, however, as the instructor bent back slightly then pitched forward and headbutted him with enough force for Winnifred to hear it clearly from where she was standing. She couldn't help but wince in pain as he dropped to the ground, clutching his quickly reddening forehead.

"Who gave you permission to sit down? If you can't even take this then you'll never make it into the Military Police!" Turning away, he stepped forward as though to go down the line when his eyes dropped towards her. Winnifred visibly flinched, berating herself in her head for it. Shadis stepped in her direction, leaning down a bit, most likely to make the incredible height difference between them seem more intimidating. "You there, shorty! What's your name?"

Winnifred gulped, noticing how dry her mouth was and saluted. "Winnifred Weiss from Kleinendorf, in the Southern part of Wall Maria sir!"

He glared down at her, and if she didn't know any better she would have thought he could read every obscenity rolling through her mind. "To kill titans and help humanity, sir!"

He leaned in close enough for her to feel his hot breath on her face and it took everything not to back down. "Seems about right! You won't last a week!"

He went onto others-Marco Bodt, Connie Springer, and then Sasha Braus-she couldn't see the girl from where she was standing but if what the instructor was shouting at her was anything to go by, she'd been eating a potato. Why she'd been doing so in the middle of such an event Winnifred couldn't understand, but she stood silently anyway. Sasha was ordered to do laps once they'd been dismissed and would not be getting dinner. She stuttered out some protests but seemed to know better than to go any further than that.

He went through several other trainees until they were given a speech on what they'd be going over during the next few years, and were then dismissed. Winnifred saw Sasha speaking to Shadis before running off. She didn't want to know how many laps the other girl was ordered to do, and while she did bring it on herself Winnifred couldn't help but feel bad for her.

They all migrated to their sleeping quarters to dress in their casual clothes, and then headed to the mess hall to eat dinner. The sun was already starting to set, despite her feeling like it was still morning.

She and Gertrud sat at a table in the middle of the room that was mostly empty, due to them being early. People filed in quickly and began sitting down as well, and she noted that Oskar had sat on the other side of the room. Winnifred couldn't help but be uncomfortable as people sat down at the same table as them as she didn't particularly want to talk to anyone, but maybe she could get away with not saying anything and just listening.

After several minutes of listening to the people around her speak, there was something of a commotion to their right. Winnifred looked over to see several people gathered around a boy she vaguely remembered seeing earlier. The boy she remembered to be Marco backed away, suggesting to the others to give him some space but the brunette shook his head.

"No..." He took a bite of the bread in his hand and continued, "The titans aren't such a big deal when it comes down to it. Once we learn how to use the 3d maneuver gear, they'll be nothing to worry about!" He let out a dry laugh. "Screw stone-picking and weeding, we're finally training to become soldiers! My emotions just got the better of me is all."

"If you say so..."

"Then I can enter the Scouting Legion... and wipe the titans off the face of the Earth!" Although she intended to go to the same branch, Winnifred thought he was going about the whole thing too loosely. She had never laid eyes on a titan, yet she was still terrified of them. No one could be so calm about them. "And then..."

"Did you say something about the Scouting Legion?" Winnifred looked over to see the boy who'd been headbutted by the instructor earlier, Jean.

"If memory serves, you're that guy who wants to join the MP and live a comfortable life, right?"

Jean put his hand on his cheek, elbow braced against the table. "Honest is what I am. A lot more than a guy who puts on a brave facade even though deep down, he's pissing his pants, anyway."

Winnifred could feel an argument coming on, and she glanced at Gertrud, who seemed to be thinking the same thing.

When she looked back at them, however, the bell outside rang. Gertrud stood up, gathering her dishes and Winnifred did the same. She looked back to see the boys standing, and while the hostility was no longer apparent, it still lingered in their gazes.

Winnifred didn't see Oskar outside, and she was a bit disappointed. She wanted to wait for him but Gertrud kept tugging on her sleeve, so she went along with her back to their cabin.

While Gertrud stayed up talking to the other girls, Winnifred laid down, content with going to sleep early. Even though the lights were on and there were cheerful girls conversing around her, she fell into a deep and dreamless sleep.


End file.
